While many have enjoyed a nice long weekend, remember WHY you can. The freedom we have is all because of those who sacrificed. Take time to give respect and honor those men and women. We should be honoring them everyday, because one day is not near enough. It will never be enough. Forever grateful. Forever remembering. "If you don't love this country, at least honor and celebrate those who have fought and died for the very freedom you use to express your dislike for it!" - David Goggins - A.Stuebbe
Author Archives: Ali Marie
My Shooting Star
Once again, I watch you walk out the door. Once again, your night has become my day.
When the sun hangs out overhead, the stars glisten your world instead.
But know they are the same distance in the sky to me as you. I see the same light and constellations that decorate life above. So even though the miles between us go on forever, I am able to close my eyes at night knowing I walk the same Earth as you do.
When you see a luminous orb gliding across the endless midnight sky, know I threw it for you to see with my wish clinging on ardently.
And I will be waiting for you…
I will be waiting for you to bring it back to me.
-A. Stuebbe
What do you want to change in your life?
What do you want to change in your life? Seems like a straight forward question, right? Well, it is. The answers I have heard are similar from person to person. I WANT to change "this" or I WISH I could do "that". Okay... what I hear is that person wanting or wishing for things to change, but where is the WILL? I WILL improve my mental health. I WILL dedicate myself to getting more in shape. I WILL ______ (whatever you PLAN to change). I also find myself doing the same thing, but have been working on making myself aware. Put your goals into a plan and make it happen. A person cannot be motivated all the time, this is where dedication comes into play. You have to truly want to put forth the effort in order to will the change. There are many days that will be hard, but keep pushing through. Have faith in yourself and know that you are worth it. No matter what "change" may mean to you. - A. Stuebbe
A Poem About Nothing
Sitting in my chair with silence all around Pen in hand, wanting to write but can’t get it down I try and try and try some more Only to crumple another piece of paper and toss it on the floor Us writers know this feeling all too well Our mind shuts itself in a mute, dark cell Pushing against the bars to try and break free But our psyche has hidden the master key This key that holds our ideas in every part of our being Praying our imagination is at least in safe keeping Today I might have to embrace the unwelcome quiet Hoping tomorrow my visions will escape in a riot - A. Stuebbe
Perception vs Reality?
I remember reading the short story "An Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge" By: Ambrose Bierce. This story teetered on the cliff of life vs death and perception vs reality. But, this story got my mind questioning the depths of our psyche. If you have read this story, you know most of it takes place in Farquhar's "fantasy" his mind conjures as he is minutes from his death. In his fantasy, he creates himself as the town hero or "hero of the south"", and is able to make a daring escape from the Union Soldiers scrap free. Reality is still there... waiting. Once he comes back from his "vision", he finds himself hanging off the bridge; meeting his untimely end. So, where am I going with this? Let me start by saying that many of us are not comfortable with the idea of our own demise. Throughout our life, we either make peace to accept it or deny it until our last breath.
Perception and reality. Would you say there is a fine line between the two?
I am sure you have heard of “my life flashed before my eyes” when a near death experience happens.
Constructing questions on the "nature of the Universe" because there is so much to mankind we do not see. Maybe perceptions mask denials and truth. For Farquhar in the short story (minutes before his death), maybe his psyche was able to create a new level of reality... Think about it. Maybe this perception is one that can not be seen during life, but only given moments before death. If any of these random thoughts make sense to you, let me know what you think between the two! ... and that's the tea. - A. Stuebbe
Riding High
An addiction that can not be tamed This high coursing through my veins is permanently ingrained. A rush that pushes me to the limits And the ones who judge are seen as cynics. The control of my life is in my hands A risk that not many truly understand. Thrumming to life with the most seductive sound Drowning out any noise in the background. The throttle fits perfectly in my grip Accelerating at high speeds down the strip. Splitting through the wind like the red sea Never looking back, I finally feel free. - A. Stuebbe
If Only I Could Have Seen
I could see the way he gazed at me. How those bright azure eyes could not quite hide his thoughts churning inside. Wanting me, though I could tell, he is shy. One step at a time, we walked towards each other. Until our heart beats met, and our breathing began to flutter. Our love was high school innocence. I was a hopeless romantic, sucked into teenage bliss. New, young love with hearts in my eyes. Is that why I always cried? I had never been in love before, I thought I had it… I thought wrong. He was humorous, he was sweet, he was gentle… Until the lights cut out, showing is true sinister self is not sentimental. I could see the way he gazed at me. The sapphire eyes I would get lost in, pierced through me with spiked ends. Assaulting my mind, dragging me under like quick sand. Hardening grips and guilt trips. Makeshift nooses wrapped around his neck, just to make me stay, feeling wrecked. The broken tears that fell upon my cheek, only made me feel weak. I could see the way he gazed at me. See the glee in the depths of his crystal eyes, filled with delight, relishing every piece of my soul he takes to terrorize. My juvenile heart shattered like a broken vase, crushed under his possessive gait. His anger attached to a short tether, the rise in his voice would detonate with pleasure. The mental whiplash is more than I can endure, seeing the red flags blaring in my face. His approach is targeted, the stench of stale booze invaded my space. I could see the way he gazed at me. See the gleam in those cobalt eyes. Burning deep into my sixteen-year-old face, promising his demise. I felt the push and the free-falling dive. The gush of wind that swirled through my hair. The feelings coursed through me like a cosmic flare. Regret? Shame? Am I to blame? Anger seeps into my bones, turning my heart into impenetrable stone. Daring a glance at the boy who once had my love, as sorrow seizes his eyes from up above. Was the forced smile on my face so easy to fool? No one noticed my pain, no one ever asked if I was okay… even though his deeds severed my veins. I wish I could have seen behind his mask. If only… If only I could have seen beyond the way he gazed at me. -A. Stuebbe *Find your voice*
Dark Star
Life is cast in light and shadows Some days, the darkness devours me whole Wraps around my mind, body and soul Dragging me down to the unknown Down, Down, Down… A bottomless pit, an endless void Smothering every sliver of light Shadows dissipate until darkness is all that exists My psyche clawing, demanding to find the lone ember The ember of light in this vault of nothing Kindling in the distance, embracing the faded flame The burn of a torch spearing through my cold frame A beacon, beckoning me Igniting the entity that illuminates inside Tugging me back to the ether An exhausting game of tug and war A lonely battle for a dark star - A. Stuebbe
Waiting on the world to change
Sometimes... wait no. Most of the time, I'm exhausted. Exhausted of life, how the world is changing and how people are finding more ways to segregate. Forming new ways to isolate and divide society. Why? It. Is. Exhausting. Is it not? Is it so hard for us to simply live? Together? I don't want to sound like a beauty pageant contestant and say "World Peace", but if the shoe fits... I know I am not alone out there. I am just another voice hoping to be heard. ...And that's the tea. - A. Stuebbe
Love?
Love…
That’s all anybody wants, right?
To feel safe and warm all night
Finding herself held tight in his embrace
Her heart frantically begins to race
His searing green eyes drink her in
Sparks ignite against her petal soft skin
Tangled in cold sheets until first light
Welcoming the morning rays that shine bright
Admiring the glints of yellow glowing across his face
As her fingertips lightly caress his jaw at a lazy pace
Her heart soaring knowing this is not a fantasy
Because he centers her, becoming her gravity
-A. Stuebbe
Such Is Life 